Frank Zappa and the Mothers of Invention were far more creative than Sara Zimmerman Duterte Carpio, now dubbed as the “mother of queer invention” by producing such names as “Mary Grace Piattos,” “Fernando Tempura,” “Reymunda Jane Nova,” “Carlos Miguel Oishi” and “Kokoy Villamin” as beneficiaries of scores of millions of pesos in rewards for producing “information” and “intelligence” against activists, school bullies and other creatures that Sara wanted to be “neutralized” and “swept off the face of the earth.”
So bad was the fabrication that the Philippine Statistical Authority (PSA) that it has no record of the birth, marriage or death of “Mary Grace Piattos,” a portmanteau of sorts of an expensive pastry shop and a proletarian snack. “Fernando Tempura” is another amateurish creation who could not pass for a Japanese or a Portuguese (yes, “tempura” was borrowed by the Japanese from the Portuguese), and certainly not a Filipino. Sara forgot to include “Yuki Sushi,” “Ebi Nagi,” “Arturo Maguro,” “Don Udon,” “Sal Samgyupsal” in homage to Sal Panelo, “Harry Kiri,” in honor of Harry Roque or “Trixie Gyoza” for ever-loyal Trixie Angeles. “Kokoy Villamin” is a sudden tribute to Yoyoy Villame. Talk of using names in vain. The PSA found no such name as “Kokoy Villamin” in its files.
Aside from failing to make their fabricated names look genuine, Sara Zimmerman Duterte has put herself on the dock for crafting assassination plots in search of “logical contexts.” She denied plotting the murders of Ferdinand R. Marcos Jr., Liza Cacho Araneta Marcos and Ferdinand Martin Romualdez by arguing that she had talked to somebody to kill the three in case she is assassinated. Who is that stupid “hitman” “hired gun” and “murderer’ who would do the job for a dead contractor? Neither is the idea of a death threat from the grave credible, even for Sara, who has been doing rhetorical and linguistic fumbles daily.
The reason she has threatened to chop off the head of Marcos Jr. and throw the remains of Marcos Sr. into the South China Sea (SCS) was that the former was a fumbling leader and not a stealing one. Those were not threats but desires of a daydream believer. Truly the spawn of Duterte Sr., Sara has been trying to fool the Filipino people into believing that she is entitled to lead the country by kicking out Marcos Jr. even as her well-paid allies have failed to mobilize millions of citizens to the EDSA Shrine and the Veterans Memorial Medical Center (VMMC) to support their badly choreographed drama. If the security of the House of Representatives were to be believed, an “assassinate me” scheme was supposedly planned for Sara right at the Lower House but it was scrubbed. The last time an “assassinate me” plot was hatched in this country, a politician was killed as the bullets turned out to be live.
The country has heard so many times that Sara Zimmerman Duterte Carpio was a target for assassination, for which reason she had no less than 433 bodyguards, which is actually a battalion of security that could have expanded to 4,330. However, both the Armed Forces of the Philippines (AFP) and the Philippine National Police (PNP) have confirmed that since 2022, they have found a single credible slay plot against Sara. Exposed to promoting Billingsgate, Sara is again acting as a petulant kid, refusing a new batch of security men. If she doesn’t want bodyguards, then leave her to her own devices. As Executive Secretary Lucas P. Bersamin said before, Sara Zimmerman Duterte Carpio is no longer part of the government so she cannot be treated differently than other citizens.
She certainly cannot sit at Cabinet meetings since she no longer has any position in the executive department. Neither can she demand mandatory attendance at the meetings of the National Security Council (NSC), which calls for the participation of current and past presidents. Sara Zimmerman Duterte Carpio has been howling for so long and hissing so frequently that she is being treated as an annoyance in the airwaves and a plump distraction in newspaper pages. Now, both the AFP and PNP are telling her to put up or shut up. What really is her beef? The imaginary assassination plots against her, against her family, against her maids, against Zuleika T. Lopez, against her pets and against her wildest imaginings? She who stands athwart the truth, not the history of William F. Buckley, and insists ex- cathedra that she is the truth.
Sara Zimmerman Duterte Carpio may be in for a big surprise as both the National Bureau of Investigation (NBI) and the Department of Justice (DOJ) will grill her for issuing death threats. As vice president, she has no immunity from suit and neither does she enjoy parliamentary immunity, which makes her liable for every threat she makes, the barbarism that she exhibits and the scandalous violations of parliamentary she commits, all because she does not take the oath, does not answer questions rationally and challenges the power of the purse of Congress. With her P733-million OVP budget now at the mercy of the bicameral committee to be slashed further or raised a tad, will she now meekly admit that her perorations lately were part of her drama anthology and it was all a show for the rubes? Funny, but who in Congress and the Senate would support her now?
Now that impeachment raps are being prepared against Sara, who has abused the patience of taxpayers, the shrillest voices advocating to scrub the filing of the articles of impeachment are Malacanang itself and the National Task Force to End Local Communist Armed Conflict (NTF ELCAC), a Duterte Sr. creation, that condemns the Makabayan Coalition and hundreds of organizations demanding that lawless disbursements of taxpayer money must end. Those who demand that Sara be held accountable for plunder are now the ones being accused of dividing the nation. NTF ELCAC chief Ernesto Torres got his head turning 180 degrees. This agency is another excuse for the wanton misuse of public funds. It backs grafters and plunderers.
