Sara Zimmerman Duterte Carpio won’t make it as a comedienne with Malou Tiquia as gag writer, all because she has no truck with the truth, and she has been stick in the quicksand of hype, evidence-free claims and such vanity that she thinks will be president three years hence based on a survey which said Filipino adults prefer her as president in 2028.
For one, Sid Caesar said in no uncertain terms that comedians are chained to the truth. Sara is not and can never be. “Comedy has to be based on truth. You take the truth and you put a little curlicue at the end. Truth is the raw material for good politics and an even better administration. If Sara cannot be truthful about the P2.7-billion in confidential and intelligence funds (CIFs) used up in Davao City under the Duterte dynasty, she cannot be truthful about the P612.5-million in CIFs disbursed to thousands of fictitious characters in both the Office of the Vice President (OVP) and the Department of Education (DepEd.)
She’s allergic to the truth, and her refusal to take the oath during the quadcomm hearings at the House of Representatives adequately proves that she should not be bound to tell the truth and nothing but the truth, with Digong as her witness. She can hardly be sincere at all since she believes that it is not needed in politics, but it is needed in ferreting out the truth, the facticity of factitiousness of her claims. Thus, Filipinos snickered when her facts came out in form of thousands of acknowledgment receipts (ARs) signed by a few people with strange names, more than 1,500 of whom had no records at the Philippine Statistics Authority (PSA), which controls civil registrars nationwide. Her facts might pass muster in one agency, but they cannot squirm past an impeachment court, if senators were to be true to their oath.
Comedy is a serious matter and no legal mumbo-jumbo invoked by Sara can pass off as a spiel in stand-up comedy. “In the creation of comedy, it is paradoxical that tragedy stimulates the spirit of ridicule; because ridicule. Is an attitude of defiance: We must laugh in the face of our hopelessness against the forces of nature—or go insane,” warned Charlie Chaplin. It was tragic that Sara refused to contest the testimonial and documentary evidence amassed during the congressional hearings, which Sara ridiculed as “biased,” “partisan” and designed to “besmirch her reputation” as the leading candidate for the 2028 presidential election. She didn’t take the oath, so she built a moat around her castle. She had no defense but had plenty of ammunition for her reckless offense, not one of which hit the target.
Sara Zimmerman Duterte Carpio was absent from the action at the international airport, Villamor Air Base and the tarmac when her father got a fine flight to The Hague, all-expenses-paid, courtesy of the national treasury. Digong, of course, is familiar with the Gulfstream G550, a business plane that is similar to the one bought by Digong when he became president. Yet, he was familiar with being strapped to his seat and brought to the International Criminal Court (ICC) to answer for a crime against humanity. So off to The Hague Princsess Sara, this time vowing to seek justice for his “illegally-arrested” dad who was brought to the Scheveningen Prison. Her plea to join her father’s defense team was thumbed down since she was not accredited to the ICC, and her request to visit her father was granted only after several days.
Digong’s arrest was seen as a positive thing for Sara, who crafted daily scenarios to keep Duterte cultists in The Netherlands busy demanding the release of their hero. They also contrived a plot that says Digong would be assassinated at the tarmac of the Ninoy Aquino International Airport (NAIA) should he be subjected to interim release by the ICC. It earned revulsion not only from the Aquino family, Nonoy’s friends and comrades, and millions of Filipinos who cannot understand why an accused mass murderer should be martyred. Naturally, the story was that the family that killed Ninoy could do an encore, this time on Digong. Did the people howl? No. Did they express sympathy for Digong? Nope. They jeered at the amateurish scenario, especially those orphaned by the 30,000 victims of Duterte’s bogus drug war.
Honeylet Avancena and her daughter Kitty were at the airport when Digong was arrested; Kitty cursed now Maj. Gen. Nicolas Torre III and Honeylet bashed the forehead of a female cop with her cellular phone. Typical violent outbursts were expected from the Dutertes, who were not amused when Digong admitted that he was the subject of an international warrant of arrest. This was the same one who mocked the ICC to get him in November 2024, arguing that he may die before they even get the chance to capture him. This was a play on “Appointment in Samarra,” which Arabs say is an appointment with death, Strangely, after telling ICC to come and get him, Digong’s camp is now busy contesting his arrest and forthcoming trial, raising a bundle of issues at ICC and during the insipid hearings at the Senate led by Duterte partisans Imee Marcos, Bato de la Rosa and Alan Peter Cayetano, the ambassador of the Lord.
Sara will continue to provoke, incite, and threaten the administration aside from joining the cavalcade of trolls and crones resurrecting debunked allegations against her principal and secondary enemies, from Marcos Jr. and his wife, Speaker Ferdinand Martin Romualdez and congressmen, along with members of the Makabayan Coalition who exposed the P612.5-million CIF scandal. “Some people are scared of taboo subjects. But I think it’s always important to point and hold the mirror up. That’s what a comedian’s job is, they’re not politicians. Politicians worry about popularity, whereas comedians shouldn’t worry about popularity, they should worry about the truth,” Ricky Gervais says. Yes, hold the mirror up to see the expensive Hermes and Dior bags, skirts and winter apparel, the product of compulsive spending by depressed Duterte kin in Milan. Popular, wealthy and entitled, they are also allergic to the truth to be unveiled at trial. Tiquia should start training Sara for her momentous career move. Doing stand-up comedy is an honorable profession for those who are not cranky. (DIEGO MORRA)
